It's amazing to me that I can experience such lows after a time of productivity and progress. Maybe these are normal fluctuations in energy and effort. Maybe they are just my nature.
The last few weeks have been incredibly busy as far as writing goes. Yesterday I submitted my first article. I have been excited to build my blog this week and help my husband build my web page. I have interviews lined up for the book I am working on. I am signed up for a writer's conference in two weeks. I have completed Lesson 3 in the Christian Writer's Guild.
And yet today, I am feeling insecure, wondering if I know what I am doing. Or worse, questioning if this is valuable. Is it something worthwhile to be devoting so much time and energy on? I guess my problem is that I always want immediate feedback. And most of the time, it's not there. Things which have value usually require work over the long haul to see results. Take exercise for example, or a diet. When I start either one, I am gung-ho—dedicated and strongly motivated. When I don't see results after a week or two, even little ones, I want to give up. That is my lazy and unredeemed nature.
The Lord tells us that we have need of endurance and that He delights in those who will press in and not shrink back. Oh, how far I have to go in this area! And writing is the same: It is discipline and hard work, things not too many of us are fond of.
The Lord encouraged me with a verse I read today: "I am your shield, your very great reward" (Gen. 15:1 NIV).
I need to learn to receive my reward, whatever that looks like in each circumstance, from Him alone instead of looking for some sort of external result or motivation. I shouldn't always look to some external pat on the back. After all, He is my reason for writing, for pressing on in every area, for living.
May you see Him as your reward today.
Kerry
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2 comments:
Hi Mrs. Krycho,
This is Travis. Your post reminds me of the definition of an authentic man that Chris and I are learning about at Men's Fraternity:
An authentic man "Rejects Passivity, Accepts Responsibility, Leads Courageously, and Expects the Greater Reward - God's Reward."
How crucial it is to expect God's reward! It puts us in a position of service and thanksgiving to God! More examples are running through my head, but I'm sure you know them as well, and I need to go do other things.
Well, it was nice finding you online! Keep expecting God's reward.
-Travis Dunlap
Thanks, Travis!
I am learning so much right now, stepping out in faith. Amazing that I am still learning such things at my age! :)
By the way, you can call me Kerry.
Blessings to you!
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