A mother's musings

This has been an interesting Thanksgiving. One that is a sort of turning point.

Our daughter was home from school for a few days. So wonderful to have her here all day, all night for the last few days. When I rise early to let the dog out and close her door, I see her asleep in her room and my heart breathes a little more freely to see her sleeping here.

And yet I have a deep longing because this was the first Thanksgiving we have not seen our son—our first holiday without him. I deeply miss him. This is the longest we have gone without seeing him and while we are "used" to it, and while the future probably looks more like this time apart, I can't say that I like it.

There is something deep within a mother's heart, probably any parent's heart, that feels somewhat incomplete when a child is away from home. Even though I know that they are meant to grow up and have their own lives, indeed that's what I want for them, still, there is a hole in my heart that is only filled with that one so dear to me. I wonder if my mother still feels the same, that it is only when we are all together that a mother's heart feels whole again.

So while we miss our son, life goes on. We still have Thanksgiving with family, we still start Christmas shopping, we still put up our Christmas tree. But all without him. And so the days are not quite as bright and carefree.

I am so thankful our daughter is going to school closer to home. She is not only a daughter to me, but also a friend, a treasure. The laughter and smiles of our two girls carry me through this first time.

I wonder if they will get any easier as each one flies off to his or her own life? Somehow I don't think it will.