Random thoughts

Just to keep my few readers in continued shock that I am actually blogging again...here's today's random thoughts.

Golden Retrievers are some of the most amazing dogs. Smart, loyal, loving, and so funny. Asher was proudly parading around the house with the string from a balloon in his mouth, balloon floating above him , saying look at me, aren't I great? Silly dog. :)

I am again astounded, amazed and grateful when I see a word of the Lord coming true. I have been going through a rough season for a while, not fully understanding all of it. Part of it certainly came from some things at my work. The Lord told me about a month ago to hang on, there would be changes by the first of the year. He didn't tell me what kind of changes. Well, this past Thursday there were some major changes announced. I stand in awe that the Lord of all the universe would stoop to encourage my heart with such a specific word. How good He is to us.

Can't believe my baby is 18 years old. I know I sound like an old woman when I say, where did the years go? My full-time mothering years are waning rapidly. While I know there are seasons for everything, I have to say that being a full time mom was absolutely one of the greatest delights of my life. I LOVED being at home, raising my kids. And the amazing people they are today is a testimony of God's faithfulness.

Off to do some online Christmas shopping.

Don't fall off your chair...I'm back

Well, it's been way too long since I posted on the blog. Life has been hectic, confusing, and just generally bogged down in many areas.

Right now I am racing to finish getting ready for the Colorado Christian Writers' Conference up in Estes Park next week. Today I am trying to hone my one-page pitch sheet to show to editors and agents. I know I am not ready for a full proposal since the book is only about 2 chapters long with several other scenes written for later in the book.

As I have spent time contemplating the book, I have had to go back and rework several areas including the first chapter since the book is now going a different direction. And I have struggled to make my characters real instead of flat. Part of what I hope to learn up at Estes Park.

I truly look forward to the time away (not just to escape the busyness!) because I have seen how the Lord has used each one I have gone to previously to encourage me not only as a writer, but as His follower. About three years ago, I went to a small conference at Glen Eyrie not really sure what I was going for or what it would accomplish...just knew I was to go. That's where I met my writing buddy, Jackie.

At first we met regularly and then that fell away as we both got pulled in different directions. We lost touch with each other for almost a year, but began meeting again this past fall. What an incredible blessing she is to me. She encourages me and gets me as a writer. That is the gift I came away with from Glen Eyrie.

Last year's conference with the writing guild was huge and pretty intimidating. However I learned a lot and came away better equipped.

Now I am going to Estes with Jackie. I know I will learn and be challenged and convicted as a writer and a woman. I am eager to go, though I don't know if Jackie and I will sleep since we get along so well and never seem to run out of things to talk about. Course we'll also be exhausted from the days that start at 7:00 a.m. and run until after 10:00 p.m.

Well, gotta run!
Blessings!

Pilates

Well, I had to post again before my dear hubby harassed me again about posting more than me this month.

On a happy note I have been doing Pilates on the Reformer machine through a physical therapy place for the last couple of weeks. Here's the funny part—last Friday morning I was scheduled to go and was so excited it was like Christmas or something. You know, when you are so excited to get going that you keep waking up in the middle of the night, rolling over and looking at the clock, then with a sigh try to get back to sleep for a little while longer because it just isn't time yet. Can't believe I was that excited about this. But I was and I am.

I feel like the reformer machine is a gift from God for my back. I lay on this contraption, exercises all my muscles without breaking a sweat and feel relaxed afterward. Amazing. All in a safe manner for my back. Yippee. :) And I am definitely getting stronger. After over a year of being stalled, I am pleased as punch!

This all ties in with a word the Lord brought me this past week as I have spent some serious time asking Him for direction. He has given me very specific words on how to proceed in getting the best health possible. This all came after I read in Psalm 32:8 that He would counsel me and instruct me in the way of life.

This week He also brought me a gentle rebuke. Psalm 32:9—I should not be stubborn like the horse or mule. I had to repent because I have been very willful at times. I know that discipline in any area of life bears good fruit and yet I still resist it at times even though I know better. I have not wanted to rein (no pun intended!) in my eating back to what I need to be healthy. I have indulged giving myself whatever excuse was available at the time.

But He has graciously called me back to hearing instruction from Him. And it will bring life. It always does. And the fruit He brings will not only be good for my body, but my heart as well. Because my Father loves me and has plans only of good for me, no matter what I am going through—good or bad.

That is all for tonight.
Blessings.

Quirky senses of humor

I am not sure why some things tickle our funny bones and not someone else's. For some time I have found certain commercials highly amusing while not finding much on the rest of TV amusing in the least. I have always adored the Mac/PC commercials, probably because I was a Mac aficionado before it was cool and I have been surrounded by PC users/programmers. You can view some of them here.

My youngest gets the biggest giggles from the happy cows come from California commercials as seen here.

The latest commercial that has really gotten to me is the new Jeep commercial. Don't know why this cracks me up but I laugh out loud every time I see it.

Now why youngest loves the happy cows and I love the jeep one—who knows? Just something different for everyone. But whatever the cause, it is refreshing to have those belly chuckles regardless of where they come from.

So what tickles your funny bone?

Do you hear what I hear?

Amazing what our ears hear: birds, machines, cars, planes, kids playing, music on the radio. But what do you hear? The reason I ask is that while my house can be full with five people living here over the holidays, I seem to be the only one who hears the buzzer on the washer and dryer when they are done. I am not saying this as a complaint, because when my husband or daughters or son say they didn't hear it—they really didn't hear it.

And there are times when I am writing or reading or working a crossword puzzle and one of my family will ask me something and I will have no idea they just said something to me. So this has caused me to wonder tonight as I alone hear my buzzers going off on the washer and dryer: what are the things I hear?

Truly the things or people we hear are the ones we give importance to. Hmmm... guess that means that my washer can call me out of whatever world I am in, but the people in life can't always do the same. :(

Some of these thoughts have also arisen because in order to be a good writer, you have to be a good observer with all five of your senses. And too many times I go through my days on auto-pilot without truly hearing, seeing, tasting, touching, or smelling the incredible world around me.

So what do you hear?

Lessons from my golden

There is nothing so humbling as being taught life lessons by a two year old when you are 45! Yesterday as I was walking my golden retriever I was considering his take on life and how many things he has down pat that I have yet to learn.

He knows how to take each day as it comes: sun or rain, walk or no walk, play time, nap time. He just lives in the moment and enjoys it fully. He doesn't stress about yesterday, later today, or tomorrow. Whatever he does, he does it wholeheartedly.

He is always ready to play. Me, no, not really. I mean these things have to be planned, don't they? That's why we have calendars and planners and blackberries and phones and .... So yes, I need to learn to be spontaneous in my play. I also just need to learn to play more and that is one of my goals for this year. Doing things I love simply because I enjoy them: they don't have to fill a need, be good, satisfy anyone else. So I plan (there's that word again! :P) on reading more, writing more, painting more, pursuing things I just love. And so far I have begun to do that.

My golden knows how to relax. Stretched out fully on his back with his feet flopping up in the air, or perhaps snuggled in a tight ball of golden fur, heavy sighs of contentment rumbling from deep in his chest. My dog can sleep for all he's worth.

He also knows how to take limitations and turn them into a game since he finds joy in everything in his life. For example: though the leash he is attached to means I am technically leading him, he will take the leash in his mouth and prance out in front saying in effect, "this doesn't control me, I am leading the way!"

I need to see the limitations I experience, mainly with my back, with the same happy heart. I can choose to say, "This doesn't have to control me, I will get a grip on it and lead the way." Instead way too many times, I get frustrated and feel constrained. I need to learn to grab that condition and just recognize it is only a state of mind that keeps me down, not the actual physical circumstance.

So, hopefully I can learn to live in the moment, play more freely, relax totally, and overcome limitations with the right attitude!

Blessings!

What a duty

Tuesday, January 8th, I had to report at 8:30 a.m. downtown for jury duty. While a friend had told me Sunday that a particular trial was starting, I didn't give it another thought until sitting in the jury duty room waiting for my number to be called (hoping it wouldn't be).

When I received my summons back in December, I thought about using the business reason to be excused since work has been really hectic. Then, as I prayed, the Lord reminded me that all of my days are held in His hand, crafted into His perfect plan. If I believe that, then this was in His will for me. So I decided to answer the summons. I figured that I would go sit for the morning and then be dismissed like my husband had been back in November when he was called. And I actually think it an honor to serve. While our justice system has many flaws, it is still the best in the world. So not wanting to serve was based more on the timing this particular week.

I should have known something was up when there was standing room only and we were told this was the largest jury pool ever called in our county's history. We were told there were 8 judges beginning trials that morning. One set of jurors was called, then another, then another—the largest one yet. Maybe I wouldn't have to serve. Then they began calling numbers for another pool. And calling, and calling, and calling. The longer the line of potential jurors got, the more persuaded everyone in the room was about which trial this was for. My name was called and I went toward the back of the line. By the time they finished calling names, there were over 70 people all standing in line to be taken up for questioning as potential jurors on a notorious case.

This case was the most serious our county has faced in many years. This was the case of the man who shot and killed one of our police officers in 2006. This was the first death on our police force in 20 years. Our whole city grieved deeply. And here I was in the jury pool.

When they took us up to the court room and they then sat us according to a seating chart—my seat was front row. After I took my seat, I looked around the courtroom curiously and then my heart began pounding fiercely as the gravity of the situation was brought home to me as I recognized the defendant from pictures I'd seen in the paper.

The most frightening thing wasn't that he was sitting just across the room from me, but when I looked in the defendant's eyes, they were totally dark. I have never seen any eyes so leaden, flat and void of feeling. Here was a man who has given himself totally over to evil. My soul shuddered and I began praying for him. Even he is not beyond God's reach.

The judge gave us instructions and we filled out more questionnaires and then were told to return after lunch. On the questionnaire I had to list what I remembered or had heard and what I thought of the defendant. When we returned, numerous jurors were called for various times over the remainder of the afternoon and the following morning. All called had to report for individual questioning in chambers with the judge, his staff, both sets of lawyers and the defendant. My turn was the following morning at 8:30.

After a fairly restless night, feeling somewhat anxious and burdened by this possibility of the trial, I returned to the courtroom. When my name was called, the clerk escorted me to the chambers where I faced the gauntlet of questions. First the judge—did I believe I could be objective even though I remembered the facts of the case fairly well? I told him I would abide by the rules if selected. The prosecution asked about the details I remembered from the case.

Then came the questioning from the defense. The lawyer attacked me like a ferocious guard dog asking me several times if I could be objective since I thought the defendant was guilty. And every time I replied that while I thought he was guilty, I would abide by the rules if selected. I was dismissed from the room while they discussed me and then I was told to return that afternoon for more questioning.

After spending the morning working at a nearby coffee shop, and eating lunch with my husband who was having his own struggles with the possibility of my serving on this jury (due to my very sensitive nature feeling for those who are hurt), I returned to the court.

After the emotional roller coaster that morning, the afternoon was a let-down. After the individual questioning, we were down to a jury pool of about 55 and they would not being general jury questioning with less than 75 in the pool. So we were dismissed and told to return again the following afternoon. In the meantime, more jurors would be called up to go through the same steps we had in order to fill the pool.

After another restless night and a morning of trying to get some work done, I reported again for duty. This time my assigned seat was front and center, directly behind the prosecution, right in front of the bar. This part of the process was incredibly interesting as each side questioned and had discussions with the entire pool, basically laying out what the charges the prosecution would be trying to prove—first degree murder—and the defense—self-defense—that the other side was claiming.

The uncomfortable part came when I was pinned by the defense again when the lawyer kept going over the presumed innocent part of the law and asking if anyone had a problem with that in this case. I finally had to speak up. From what I had read when the crime had happened, I knew the man was guilty. Even the defense was saying he had killed the police officer. While the defense wanted me dismissed immediately, the judge would not allow any dismissals until they had completed the questioning. We were dismissed for the evening and told once again to return the following morning.

By that evening I was absolutely exhausted. I couldn't believe how tired I was physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. I crawled into bed by 8:30 and tossed and turned my way through one more night.

Friday morning, I reported. The defense continued their questioning and a couple more people finally said they thought they could not be objective either as they thought the defendant guilty as well. After a couple of hours of this, they finally began dismissing jurors to whittle down to the needed number. I was the second person dismissed.

During this time, several other potential jurors had come up to me during breaks to tell me what courage I had to speak up to the defense lawyer the way I did . Honestly, I rarely speak up in situations like that. I would rather stay silent and pray and let someone else take the heat. That day the Lord required me to speak. And several people told me they had courage to speak up because I had. God can and does use all things.

I have followed the trial closely and will continue to do so until it is settled. I feel a deep responsibility to pray over every part of the proceedings and over each person in the courtroom. I pray that the prosecution lays their case out clearly and fully. I pray that the judge rules wisely on every point of law. I pray for the defense lawyers, the clerks, and the recorder. I pray for the defendant–God's arm is not too short to save this man even while he faces the justice he deserves. I pray for the jurors: that they will see the truth , that they will rule justly, that they will abide by the rules of law, that they will have the strength they need for the emotions they are going through. I pray for order in every aspect of the court and that justice and truth to prevail.

Blessings,

Mouse in the house

O little mouse,
Why are you hiding in my house?


Cute, isn't he? (she?) Problem was this little guy somehow found a way into the house. I had just climbed in bed early, weary from a busy day. My youngest daughter was getting ready for bed as well and my husband was working on his laptop in our family room.

I hear the call, Kerry can you come down here? I need your help. Grumbling mildly to myself about climbing back out of bed, youngest daughter and I head downstairs. My hubby is very carefully setting down his laptop and getting off the sofa. "Are you hurt?" I asked at his ginger movements. "Nope, there's a mouse hiding under the entertainment center."

After shutting the dog in our bedroom, my husband uses a broom and yardstick to "sweep" the little mouse toward the daughter and I who are trying to shoo it toward the door. The mouse ran out and back under after spotting my hopping feet. (I'm not scared of any old little mouse, it's just that rapid scuttling, not knowing where he's going to go!) At this point our daughter is draped across the kitchen counter looking down at the floor. Lot of help she is!

Well, after doing this dance for a few times, the mouse decided to make a run for it. Only he didn't run for the open door, nope. He headed under the stove. Well at least he's contained we thought. My husband swept under the stove with the yardstick. No mouse. Swept again. No mouse. I know I saw him go under there. David finally pulled the drawer out and looked. No mouse. Where could he be?

David decided he better look in the drawer amid the pots and pans. So he took the drawer outside (smart man!) and started lifting out pans. Sure enough, there was the little guy hiding terrified. David tipped the drawer and the mouse jumped free and scrambled away.

We breathed a sigh of relief. Until I realized the mouse had been in the pans!! Everything had to be sterilized that night, of course. So no early to bed that night. But at least the mouse was out!