That's Life essay

Here's the essay I will submit to our paper for the "That's Life" column.

It’s time to clean the clutter out of the basement again. If your basement is anything like mine, it becomes a black hole. Don’t know where to put something? Stash it downstairs. Company coming? Hide the extra junk just out of sight. It has become a jungle below, out of sight, out of mind.

I know I can be a pack rat at times, but I also think the opportune moment has arrived. I am ready to do war against any memory, no matter how sentimental. In a few short weeks I will have a house full of company for my daughter’s graduation. I have to find space down there for a guest bed for my sister and her family.

As I look at all we are getting rid of this time, (this event occurs every few years) I see memories, long with junk that I can't remember getting. How strange it is that stuff seems to multiply down there. Some items, like the ceramic bunny statue, I just shake my head and wonder why we got it in the first place.

There are old vinyl records, probably 30-40 of them stacked in a box, everything from rock and roll to country and Christian pop. Bee Gees, Styx, Amy Grant, Bread. We haven’t even had the record player connected to the receiver in 10-15 years. Why have we kept the albums? I certainly don’t think we want to nail them to a wall like on “Trading Spaces.”

Then there are the children’s games and toys: baby doll beds, old games like Masterpiece and Mousetrap, soccer balls and cleats, softball helmets, puzzles, Barbie pools, and little girls’ dress up clothes. All snapshots of days gone by since all my kids are in their mid to late teens.

We also need to get rid of old sports gear like the skis that are way too long and straight, and the weight machine that was just missing a few bolts and a chain when it was given to us. Never did get those pieces and it has sat gathering dust.

There are books, ranging from old classics we picked up at garage sales that we have never read, to homeschool books, and encyclopedias I had as a child. We have lamps, pictures, and a dresser we bought at another garage sale when we had our first baby almost 20 years ago.

Time to get rid of stuff. Maybe it’s spring. Maybe it’s the transition with a child graduating. Maybe it’s by force due to the coming company. Maybe it’s all of the above. Whatever the full reason, I am ready to tackle the space and reclaim it for civilization.

Writing today: That's Life essay

Today I am writing an essay for the Life section of our paper titled, "That's Life." The paper has an open call for submissions for a short essay about anything in life, big or small. They have covered everything from a teen learning to drive, to politeness, to how a family of a race car driver handles watching NASCAR. I am writing an essay about decluttering our basement. The items we are getting rid of are not needed by us any more. However they are filled with memories, some are over 20 years old. I guess I see this as an analogy to life. Sometimes we gotta clean out the clutter which is no longer serving a purpose. Well, off to write.

And by the way, thanks to all for the encouragement yesterday. I had lunch with two friends from my previous employer. Good friends, good laughter and sympathy. They lightened my heart.

Moving on, finding inspiration

The last few weeks have been difficult . . . lonely . . . the isolation of being home alone, writing (and trying to keep inspired), amid what I can am calling the blues. I refuse to define it as a depression, though I certainly fit some of the symptoms. (Denial—gotta love it!) There is a reason I refuse to name it thus, there is the power of life and death in words and I won't pronounce this over myself. I will acknowledge that I am feeling depressed at times, just won't define myself that way.

As an aside, I have known people who have suffered with real depression and I am in no way judging them. This is just my way of talking positive to myself and speaking life over myself.

All I can figure is that perimenopause, along with lots of spiritual battles, and my second child getting ready to graduate high school have all combined to knock me flat. I have suffered though what I can only term "hormonal" swings with crying jags, anger, weariness. Blah! I know that is not who I am and quite frankly I am about fed up with it. I have found myself feeling hopeless and helpless as a wife, mother, prayer warrior and writer. I have thought, "There is no way I could possibly write, I don't have what it takes." When will I learn to recognize the enemy's lies sooner?

Today I have spent some time surfing, coming across come great sites for women and for writers which I have plugged in with, including Robin LeeHatcher's site, and Writer Interrupted. I also visited the Christian Women Online page–great e-mag. Anyway today I am choosing to write, whether I feel like I can or not. I have plugged in with some other writers' sites. Sometimes I think we just have to pick up and go on with the callings of our life and let the emotions follow along when they will, kind of like recalcitrant toddlers. Guess I need to treat mine as such. :P

Praise God!

Just a quick update: the missing man and child returned home safely last night around 11 pm. They had been camping. Thank you Jesus!

Heavy hearted day . . .

Today we are facing another snow storm. It's been a long winter this year. Amazing how we long for spring. I believe it is a spiritual thing. We long to see the world around us come alive. It reminds us of how Jesus has given us new life.

Beyond the weather, my heart is heavy, burdened with intercession. Our dear pastor's adult son and grandchild are missing. No one has seen or heard from them since last Saturday morning and everything seemed fine. The grandchild also had chicken pox. Now we have a winter storm with forecasts of up to a foot of snow where they live. The sheriff's office is looking for them. Most of last night was spent praying instead of sleeping. Please join me in praying for our pastor's wife (who has MS), his daughter-in-law (the wife), and her parents as well. Everyone is deeply concerned.

Dear Jesus, You know where they are. Please shine Your light on this circumstance. Keep them safe. Guard them from the schemes of the evil one. End the torment of not knowing where they are. Keep the hearts of their loved ones in a peace only You can bring. Help them to guard their thoughts from all speculations.

Grieving with VT

What a sad day. My heart is breaking for all those affected by the shootings at Virginia Tech yesterday. My prayers are for those families who lost loved ones, for the survivors, for the other students and staff and their families, for the shooter's family. How tragic.

Our human minds cannot grasp the depth of pain/oppression/despair that must have driven the young man to this horrific end. Why he would choose to kill others for no apparent reason is beyond comprehension. As my husband noted, we cannot fathom with human understanding what is purely demonic. We are in a battle. There is an enemy who seeks to kill, rob, and destroy. What manner of fear has been let loose upon all college campuses? Upon all schools, and in all parents' hearts?

Jesus, bring light in this darkness. Bring comfort that only You can in the midst of such pain. May Your gospel burst forth upon this campus and indeed all our country even more explosively than this evil did. You shine, Jesus, all the brighter when the darkness is greater.

Busy day, time flies

Today is my sweet daughter's 18th birthday. As do so many parents, I wonder where did the time go? Seems like just yesterday ... her fluffy, blond curls swirled round her two-year-old head as she picked flowers from my garden to give to me, her tiny little fingers curled round mine to stay safe as we crossed the street. Her giggles filled the house as she and her younger sister would play dress up again and again, all the way up till she entered high school and started playing dress up for real. Her easy laughter even now always lightens our home, she knows just how to make her dad laugh even after the toughest day. We joke that she has had him wrapped around her little finger since the day he held her in the hospital asking with trembling voice, how do I raise a girl?

Today, we delight in this wonderful young lady who is compassionate, discerning, knows her Lord and loves Him with her whole heart. We are excited about the plans the Lord is unfolding in her life. I do not fear for her as she leaves for college next fall, I know she is secure in the Lord's love and He will guide her safely each day. She can be intense at times, like everyone in our house :P, but she is also the one who laughs the easiest. Thank you, Jesus, for the gift of raising this beautiful young woman for you.

Today is busy with writing as well. I am working on an article about the military families today which will be both for my lesson and I am going to submit it when I get the comments back on it. I also have three other possibilities for articles to pitch which need to be done by next Wednesday. So I'm off to write!

Writing goes on, as does life

Well, yesterday was semi-productive. I got some work done, not enough. :P Today I am feeling more energized and like I can be productive. Perhaps getting some more sleep helped. I know the prayers of others definitely did. Thank you.

Last night I began working on my latest lesson and it actually fits with my needs of what I am requiring myself to get done by my critique group on Friday: an interview and article. :D So I got half the lesson done and started brainstorming on what I want to do for the article. I am going to interview a military wife about a heartbreaking time she faced alone while her husband was deployed. Her little sister, only 12, died suddenly and she had to cope alone. I am going to set up to contact her perhaps tomorrow morning.

I have realized while writing and processing stuff the last week or so that we are really in a major transition in our family and it does take a toll on us in every area. Not only are we preparing for our daughter to graduate, my husband has gone through a job change at work, and the changes in our family relationships just continue to move constantly these days. I know it is not a bad thing, just have to keep adjusting, keep going with the flow, so it doesn't overwhelm me. Today I look outside at our wonderful spring time weather in April: it's snowing. Only in Colorado can we swing from 25 degrees on Sunday, to 60 degrees yesterday, to snow again today. I guess that about describes my life right now: sunny one day, snowing the next. I just have to be as prepared as I am able and enjoy what comes.

Updates

Just a quick update, this is looking like a busy week. Lots of work, needing to get my Writer's Guild lesson done, meeting with my critique group Friday and am supposed to have at least one article written by then about the military families. Not sure how to juggle it all. I will update more on the writing later.

On top of that I have physical therapy continuing for my back. Trying to be patient (not a strong suit for me), but it is frustrating at times to be limited in what I can do. So I am going to try to extend my walks this week to at least get a little more exercise which will probably help with the general malaise I have been feeling.

There are many deep prayer needs as well, for dear ones in my life, so I have spent many hours (usually at night :P) interceding for the breakthroughs that are needed. All are spiritual, some physical as well. I am praying for eyes to be opened, for discernment that is keen and focused, that Jesus alone will get all the glory. I have been reminded this week that the Lord does not need nor even want my sacrifices. He wants my devotion. He has said that all I need do is obey His voice. Sometimes that is the hardest thing to do when I have so many other voices clamoring for attention. These voices come to me in my own heart and desires, in the pressures of the expectations of others, of "Christianity," of commitments I have made both wisely and foolishly.

Yet this morning I read again that Jesus said the one He sets free is free indeed. Lord, help us all to leave behind the baggage that we all too easily pick up and lug around. May we all learn to walk in obedience to Your voice alone, then we shall be truly free indeed. All You have for us is life abundant.

Blessings.